I’ve had a lot of conversations lately about the differences in the way men and women communicate. Traditional networking approaches typically follow a masculine model, with the emphasis of conversations based around statistics and data gathering. The number of business cards scored by the end of the evening being evidence of a successful event.

Women don’t necessarily connect that way. We have conversations that run the gamut from how someone got into her profession, what vet she uses, to where she got her shoes. These very different conversations are fundamental to building long-term mutually beneficial relationships.

Have you ever left a business mixer feeling more like you were speed dating than relationship building? If so, try meeting one-on-one with the women in your networking circles to get to know each other better and build lasting friendships. It takes time and work, but is is so worth the effort.

If we haven’t gotten together for a cup of tea yet, let’s put it in our calendars. And tell me, where did you get those shoes?

Oh my gosh, it’s been a challenging couple of weeks around here. My sweetie had a health issue that required a couple of late-night visits to the emergency room and an emergency surgery (which created a complication that nearly ended him). Thankfully, he’s fine now and on the road to recovery.

With our normal daily routines turned upside-down, while I did have to cancel some appointments I was glad to have systems in place that allowed me to devote my time to caring for him without completely turning my back on my business. And because his team knew how to proceed in his absence, he could recuperate without worrying about what was happening at work.

The time, of course to prepare for an emergency is before you ever need it. There’s a ripple of fear that if “what you think about you bring about”, then if you think about preparing for the worst, the worst is bound to occur. What a bunch of bunk! Not the Law of Attraction itself, but you have to do more than “think” about something to make it happen. You have not only to prepare for it, but to actively pursue it. By preparing for an emergency you are protecting your interests, not looking for trouble.

Let’s look at some ways to put your own systems in place to help you get by in case of emergency.

The Boy Scout Motto

• Know where everything is in advance. Just like a fireman doesn’t have time to scramble around looking for his boots and helmet when the alarm sounds, you don’t need the extra stress of searching for your keys when you need to rush out the door.
• Pack and label like a “frequent flyer”. Keep all your travel accessories in one place so you can easily grab them.
• Have everything in working order (cell phone charged, gas tank full, etc). The last thing you want to do is search for an open gas station at midnight, or not be able to make an important call because your battery died.
• Take it “to go” – have your e-reader and mp3 player loaded. Keep them full of ebooks and podcasts you can use to keep your mind occupied when you can’t do anything else but worry.

Enlist Your Lists        

• Have your schedule & tasks organized. In an everyday situation doing this will alleviate the stress that chaos brings, in an emergency this is invaluable.
• Decide what you need to do vs what can be delegated, then delegate the rest. Really, your attention is needed elsewhere.
• Update your contact lists of names, numbers, emails, etc. You’ll want to be able to easily reach out when you need to.
• Keep a list of “busy work” that can be performed anywhere. Whether it’s sorting though you email inbox or doing needlepoint, have a list of ideas to keep yourself occupied during the times you have nothing to do but wait.

 Train Your Team

• Delegate before hand. Talk with your team to decide who will be responsible for what tasks in your absence (remember this goes for any time you want to take a day off or go on vacation as well as during an emergency).
• Give them the tools & training to do the job. Put your procedures in writing for each task and make sure your team understands them and is able to follow them.
• Be sure they have access to your contact lists of names, numbers, emails, etc.
• Accept they won’t do things exactly as you would. If you have given them the appropriate tools and training to get the job done, they will do it to the best of their ability – not your’s. And that is perfectly OK.

 Multiple Streams

• Don’t rely on one source of income. If you are a small business owner who can’t perform in your primary revenue source during an emergency, be sure you have passive streams in place to tide you over. Even if you are happily employed, depending on your company alone to cover all your expenses is, let’s just say a little “pie-in-the-sky”.
• Have products available for online purchase. These can be information products – e-books, how-to videos or audios, etc that can be instantly downloaded, or physical products that you can train your team to ship for you.
• Not sure where to start? Look at your hobbies – are you interested in arts and crafts, collectibles?
• If you have a business, an online presence is a basic necessity (if you don’t have one yet, contact me to discuss how to get started). If you are looking for a side revenue selling your wares, look into setting up an online boutique like those in Etsy.com. Or if beauty is more your thing, companies like MaryKay empower their reps to design schedules to fit their lives.

“Despair is most often the offspring of illpreparedness “. While being prepared for an emergency won’t change the situation, it will change how you are able to face it and how you are able to get through it.

Today is full of obligations to be met, and tomorrow is already promised away, so “someday” is that imaginary point in time you set aside for yourself. The trouble is, as the days pass someday never gets any closer and the promises and obligations you make for others don’t leave room for the pleasures you would like to pursue.

Guess what? the ice cream bar of life is SELF SERVE! No cute waiter in a paper hat is going to take your order and deliver it to your table with extra sprinkles. Oh no my friend, you’ve got to roll up your own sleeves and dig in with your own scoop if you want to taste the sweet treats in life.

When you do, not only will you be pleasantly surprized to find that its sweeter than you imagined because you made it yourself, but there’s plenty for every one so don’t feel guilty about second helpings!

Want to enjoy a fat-free guilt-less pleasure this summer? It’s time to make your own “Someday” (chocolate sprinkles optional!)

We all have dreams of what we want our lives to be. Too many times those dreams get set aside as the demands of daily living take their toll on our time and our energy. Sadly we often believe that it’s too late to follow our dreams and that a dream deferred is a dream lost.

But it doesn’t have to be so. It takes a deep passion, unwavering courage, and the determination to make whatever effort necessary to bring your dreams to fruition.

Courage

• Making changes, even positive ones is scary but we all have within us an inner courage
• Face your F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real
• “Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” Carolne Myss
• It’s you biggest fear you have to break through to get what you want out of life

 Determination

• Your dreams aren’t dead just because you have put them on hold
• Make the conscious choice of where to focus your priorities – like preparing a meal, the entrée may be your main focus, but you still tend to the side dishes
• Keep your dreams alive in your heart by surrounding yourself with reminders – photos, vision board, scrapbook, journal
• When doubts arise look back on your reminders for inspiration

 Learn All You Can

• Research everything you can about your dream
• Hang out with people doing what you want to do – in person, chat rooms, blogs, etc
• Ask their advice and learn from their experiences
• Volunteer or apprentice to get first hand experience

 Put In the Effort

• Be willing to work your way up in your chosen field
• Invest the time and money necessary to reach your dreams – take special training courses
• Budget your money – cut costs elsewhere to save for your dreams

No mater where you find yourself on life’s journey, you need never lose sight of your dreams.

Lately many of my conversations with clients and colleagues have centered around working through challenges that leave our energies drained and our resolves shaken. It seems once we set our hearts and minds firmly in the direction of our goals, our worlds seem to respond by amping up the challenges to those goals, almost in a test of our convictions.

You’ve made the decision to move forward with your own personal vision of success in your life or your business. But wait, the only things that seem to be showing up are roadblocks to attaining that level of success you desire. What happened to the opportunities you were sure would appear once you set out to reach your goals?

The best opportunities for growth and success come disguised as risks that cause you to stretch out of your comfort zone. These risks can bring up all kinds of deep seated fears and self-doubts that make those roadblocks seem insurmountable. Remember, fear is only your ego’s perception of a situation geared toward maintaining the status quo. By embracing those risks with absolute faith and surrounding yourself with the support system you need to attain your goals you will be able to break through those fears to get to that next big level of success.

It is only by rising up to challenges that you can truly expand into the potential of who you can be.

In the Disney stories a girl falls in love with a prince, they marry, she becomes a princess and they live happily ever after. That’s all well and good for animated characters, but here in the real world we’ve all got the opportunity, make that the responsibility, to claim our own crowns and become the princesses, or princes of our own lives.

It all starts with honoring yourself, your wants, needs and desires and setting firm boundries around how you expect to be treated. Like attracts like and self-respect is a magnet for more of the respect you deserve. Remember, no one can take advantage of you without your permission.

Taking the first step may initially feel awkward as you begin to respect your own needs and desires, however once you’ve begun to embrace your own regal bearing you’ll quickly learn to accept no less in your life. You’ll soon find that tiara not only looks great, it enhances the essence of your authentic self as well.

The one I had just before waking up this morning was one of those dreams. It started out strangely enough (like most dreams do). I was in a department store dressing room trying on outfits and put on a dress that was reminiscent of a royal gown. As I was checking the fit in the mirror I heard music coming from the outer rooms and went to investigate. There was a large group of people having a party and a number of them had formed a conga line and began dancing through the crowd. I ran to catch the line and recognized the song as “Those Were the Days My Friend”, a rather melancholy song from the late 60′s about lost opportunities and wasted youth. In my dream version however the lyrics were sung in present tense. As we made out way through the crowd someone asked me how I could be dancing and I replied “How can I not?” Then I woke up humming the tune to myself.

OK, for me the interpretation was obvious and affirming. I’m a shopper and trying on outfits is like exploring different aspects of the personality. In honor of the upcoming Windsor wedding I’ve been working on an article about treating yourself like a princess so the royal gown was a perfect fit. I’m told that everyone and everything in our dreams is a representation of some portion of ourselves, so the crowd of people were some of my conflicting thought and feelings, especially the one asking how I could be dancing. My response “How can I not?” is fairly typical of my unfailing faith. The song in its original version expresses feelings I’ve had through the years about the time I wasted not knowing my life’s purpose, however in my dream’s version the lyrics reflect that no time has been lost and everything I’ve ever wanted lays before me.

C’mon, there’s plenty of room on the conga line, feel free to dance and sing along…

For some of us procrastination is a chronic condition, for others it’s a sign of laziness. But it doesn’t have to be either of those. It can be a valuable source of information about how we live our lives and what we need to be happy.

Since it’s tax season, waiting to file taxes is a great example. I think we can all agree that even if you’re getting a refund, the process of filling out the correct forms is a time consuming pain in the neck. But is there more to putting off doing it than just the drudgery? What triggers that sense of dread – is it a fear of never having enough money, a belief that you won’t be able to understand the complex forms, or maybe a reckoning that you haven’t yet achieved your perceived level of success, or something else entirely?

Whatever the reason, once you learn from your procrastinating you are no longer be limited by it. You can begin to take the steps to make positive changes toward a happier life, now not later.

We’ve all had days when we’ve felt unsure of ourselves, but life requires us to be otherwise. Maybe you’re trying something new – going to a networking meeting, giving a presentation, starting a radio show – and because it’s a new experience you don’t have the confidence that comes from repetition and familiarity.

When you find yourself needing a boost of self-confidence, try this simple trick of “acting as-if” you already are. You do this by becoming as prepared as possible for the event – have your notes in order, be well-rested; and by looking the part – wear an outfit that makes you feel your best. Then envision your smiling self sailing through the event – make this visualization as rich with details as you can. Your subconscious mind can’t distinguish between what’s real and what’s imaginary, so this vision becomes its reality.

When you act as a confident person, you’ll find you can “April Fool” everyone (including yourself) into seeing you that way.

What are the secrets so-called “lucky” people have for catching breaks that seem to pass by other folks?

One of the things they tend to do is to routinely step out of their comfort zone and take opportunities to try new things. It could be talking to the stranger sitting next to them on the train, offering to give a presentation at a meeting, or accepting an invitation to a networking event. Whatever the opportunity, they don’t limit themselves to what they’ve done in the past, instead they keep an open mind as they look to the future.

So the next time you have an opportunity for a new experience, remember that to make your own luck you have to do more than just find a four leaf clover.